Procrastinating

How many times have I used that as a post title or mentioned the word in a post now? Three? Four? A dozen? I don’t know and I don’t think I want to, but I’m going to do it again.

I have about thirteen weeks until the test, and since most pre-made schedules are for twelve weeks, bad reasoning says I have a week of “LSAT vacation.” I know it’s bad reasoning and really just flat-out stupid, but I’m doing it anyway. I’m not going to take the whole week, just today.

Yesterday I took my husband for his Birthmas (Christmas+Birthday) present, which was him getting to fly a small plane. As an added bonus, the instructor let me ride along for free in the back seat of the tiny plane. The husband is a great pilot and the instructor was incredible, but it was still a lot of work for me to be personally responsible for willing the plane to stay in the air.

We had intended to go to dinner and then some Christmas shopping afterword and not be home til late, but what really happened was a little dinner, walking around a mall that it turns out closed at about six thirty, sharing a small ice cream, and being home by around seven. We said thanks to the babysitters (the husband’s parents), put the kids to bed, started a TV show, and I was out cold by 9:30. I barely woke up at six this morning.

So I’m still tired. Both kids are teething, with something like ten teeth coming in between the two of them. They’re also both potty training, though the older one used to be fully trained, but has had some trouble in the last few months. It was a long day. So tonight I achieve nothing that involves much brainpower. I have two work projects due by Wednesday, but they can get done tomorrow. I also really should study since we have a friend coming to stay with us for Thursday through Saturday.

I’m not going to do any of that grown up responsible stuff. I’m going to pretend to run and watch some Supernatural, then when the kids go to bed I’ll try to watch a show with the husband again and probably be asleep by 930. It’ll be ok.

No. It’ll be great.

Back at it

I had to take a few days (ok, a week and a half) off because I was getting too stressed about this whole thing. Also, I was sick, but that’s just a convenient coincidence. The sick allowed me to feel fine with the not working. Sick allowed me to forgive myself for not punishing myself for my laziness and fragility (as demonstrated by the panicking). Sick sucks, but it was exactly what I needed.

Now that I’m fewer than 100 days from the test and home from a weekend with my family for a wedding, it’s time to get back at it. It’s time to get back to work and get things done.

I think I’m going to give myself the rest of this week to finish re-reading and highlighting my Logical Reasoning book, then get back to the preptests. I’ll finish the last two or three of the really old ones (1990s tests) I bought earlier this year, then move on to the much newer ones I bought last week, which i think also include the Comparative Reading section.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Away from home and library

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Yesterday I was supposed to meet a client at a local coffee place, or so I thought. I wasn’t sure she had gotten the email, but I decided to go anyway. I figured I could arrive early, study til she came, then keep studying until they closed after she left. Or, if she didn’t come, I’d just study until they closed.

It turns out she didn’t get the email, so I texted her and we rescheduled. This gave me, in theory, several hours of uninterrupted study time since it turns out coffee shops, or at least this one, aren’t very busy and are actually pretty quiet at dinner time.

So I ordered myself a way overpriced chicken Caesar wrap and set to studying. I made it through several pages of the logical reasoning book and felt like I made some progress, even if it is very slow. I planned to stay long enough to finish a chapter of that and do a “game” or two, but it’s just too cold there.

I learned the hard way that when I’m so cold my jaw is chattering and my nose is dripping I can’t focus. I read things over and over and they weren’t sinking in or sticking like they usually do.

There’s a reason grad students flock to these places (there was a medical student next to me and a theology student a few tables over), and there’s a reason they’re all wearing layers and drinking hot beverages.

Lesson learned.